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Part 5: Vento Aureo/Golden Wind

I need to be perfectly frank with everyone: this is actually one of my least favorite Jojo parts but at least nobody in this part befriends a nazi unlike SOMEONE.

Bruno Bucciarati

HELLO DADDY. er. mommy. whatever.

Hello, Oreo milkshake-lookin ass bowl haircut zombie man. marry me please.

YOU DRESS LIKE A FUCKING WHORE. But that's okay. I love men who dress like whores.

Okay, I make fun of his haircut, but honestly, dudes who can effectively pull of bowl haircuts are God's strongest warriors, and also I am grateful that they exist every single day. Because WOW this man is hot hot hot hot hot.

Oh my GODDDDDDDDDD. OH GOD. Oh god. I've fallen and I choose not to get up, okay?

Much like everyone else in Jojo, he's a fucking freak. I wish he'd do this to me instead of the 15 year old. I desperately want to know what else that tongue can do. Can you IMAGINE how fucking good he is at head? Especially cunnilingus. I'm extremely fucking normal about this particular fantasy of mine. That said, you have to be careful when he goes down on you since he has a zipper-related stand power and all.

One more pic.

How great does he look in the newer artstyle!!

Ghiaccio

In my heart, he would be in every single episode.

Fact: As a kid, I had a huge crush on Jeff from EarthBound. Huge is an understatement this shit made Jupiter and the Xbox look like little bitches. Anyway, now I simp for whatever this is. Coincidence?

He is literally incapable of looking or acting normal, ever, even by the standards of Jojo.

I love men with curly hair. I love men with glasses. Yeah, I pretty much became obsessed with him the second I saw him when I read the manga.

There is REALLY not much to say about him except that in Jojo Allstar Battle he was FINALLY FUCKING PLAYABLE!!!!!! His stand is SO badass. Also he's the character for one of the game's menus and at one point says "More like Jojo's Bizarre Bullcrap" and he was so valid for that. But literally everything he says sounds like that. I'm just gonna stfu and post a few more pics of him, assuming you didn't click away after my Bruno Bucciarati cunnilingus fantasy.

Part 6: Stone Ocean

Enrico Pucci

Hello, my name is called Sebastian and I love hot priests.

Pucci's honest reaction to this information.

I love Stone Ocean but I kinda think it lacks for husbandos (which... makes sense, this part is for the lesbians of course!) but Araki KILLED IT with Pucci. Granted Pucci, despite being a sexy gay priest, is lower on the tierlist because of reasons I'm sure you know if you've read/watched part 6.

Also, he was soooo much hotter in the anime.

Not much else to say about him! His personality is kinda blah to me tbh but I really am overdue to rewatch or reread Stone Ocean, especially since my husband hasn't seen it yet

Part 7: Steel Ball Run

One of the best parts for sure! I still think I kinda like DIU better

I wanna say first that although I'm not sure they're full-on husbandos, I really, REALLY like Johnny and Gyro, the protagonist and Jobro respectively of this part. They're great characters! Their bromance is good, too, and their chemistry is very real. But fuck all that shit.

Funny Valentine

I'll gladly suck his cock in the Oval Office.

That ENTRANCE. That HAIR FLIP. That POISE. That EVERYTHING. It almost makes me forget that he's a complete fucker.

I am genuinely so obsessed with his hair.

Araki's artwork in Pt 7 is outstanding

DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY???? MR. PRESIDENT?????

also he has scars on his bag shaped like the american flag. hard images

Diego Brando

The sexier Dio, and that's saying something. I mean the regular Dio is a VAMPIRE. A VAMPIRE, OKAY???? And I still chose this feral weirdo.

At the moment I don't have many screencaps of him and the anime isn't out (yet...!) so this section has few images at the moment. But trust me when I say I love him/

Later in SBR, an alternate universe version of Diego shows up (even though he's ALREADY an AU...) and this Diego is more like Dio. He even has ZA WARUDO. He is hot asf too, naturally.

What a cutie! He's such a little weirdo, but I love him. Sailor suits are always cute.

He has four balls btw.

I barely remember Jojolion's plot but the art was some of Araki's best for sure. I'm a particular fan of this panel.

I love his relationship with Yasuho. This scene was especially sweet, where they reunite and hold hands as they talk.